Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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