We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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