The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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