found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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