yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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