So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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