Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Randomize
