lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
