so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
