i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
