I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
