I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I think I am morally bankrupt
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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