My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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