What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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