Welp...herpes.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
