Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
