Just fell off a train. Bad.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
