my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
