tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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