I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
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you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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