I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I would fuck him just for his dog
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