thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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