and you said cock pushups were impossible
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?