Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.