Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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