you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
