i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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