what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
