she looked like the bat from fern gully.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
