I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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