I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
