did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I've blown a few things in my day
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
