you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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