who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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