may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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