this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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