i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
