Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Marry him

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  (503): He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song. (1-503): Marry him http://tfl.nu/vquy
  Replies (39) Good night (9314) Bad night (994)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.

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  (513): Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen. (1-513): She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do. (513): She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses. http://tfl.nu/52u6
  Replies (35) Good night (1455) Bad night (4952)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob

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  (705): it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob http://tfl.nu/qlwy
  Replies (47) Good night (4893) Bad night (1910)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed

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  (205): I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed http://tfl.nu/lr4z
  Replies (18) Good night (2064) Bad night (3921)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."

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  (908): don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..." http://tfl.nu/9x9f
  Replies (16) Good night (2034) Bad night (3757)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'

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  (636): The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.' http://tfl.nu/hueh
  Replies (10) Good night (1065) Bad night (4412)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever

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  (814): Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever http://tfl.nu/615b
  Replies (11) Good night (5702) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.

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  (309): I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar. http://tfl.nu/nec2
  Replies (8) Good night (3607) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.

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  (404): Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800. http://tfl.nu/a5yx
  Replies (15) Good night (2689) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.

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  (570): since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there. http://tfl.nu/6g57
  Replies (4) Good night (2725) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?

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  (602): I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!? http://tfl.nu/p185
  Replies (8) Good night (899) Bad night (2247)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka

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  (512): Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka http://tfl.nu/edtb
  Replies (8) Good night (1846) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream

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  (828): Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream http://tfl.nu/n2ta
  Replies (13) Good night (2534) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.

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  (856): What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today. http://tfl.nu/ecb0
  Replies (4) Good night (1033) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?

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  (518): Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt? http://tfl.nu/4gjt
  Replies (3) Good night (235) Bad night (747)

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