Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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