I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.