Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Emoooo

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  (317): It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups. (1-317): Emoooo http://tfl.nu/8g06
  Replies (10) Good night (995) Bad night (2459)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick

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  (469): Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick http://tfl.nu/zqfp
  Replies (34) Good night (1438) Bad night (5669)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway

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  (651): just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway http://tfl.nu/le5e
  Replies (18) Good night (1143) Bad night (3770)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.

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  (912): She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious. http://tfl.nu/k9y8
  Replies (15) Good night (1134) Bad night (4398)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me

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  (703): i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me http://tfl.nu/jgjv
  Replies (8) Good night (4427) Bad night (1106)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.

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  (816): This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out. http://tfl.nu/wupp
  Replies (8) Good night (2446) Bad night (1058)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.

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  (503): So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep. http://tfl.nu/t5yr
  Replies (5) Good night (2079) Bad night (780)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought

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  (914): Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought http://tfl.nu/0bwp
  Replies (9) Good night (1467) Bad night (660)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.

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  (847): I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet. http://tfl.nu/ancz
  Replies (10) Good night (4148) Bad night (817)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo

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  (207): I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo http://tfl.nu/r3az
  Replies (7) Good night (1634) Bad night (568)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"

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  (214): I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy" http://tfl.nu/b3zm
  Replies (3) Good night (1005) Bad night (1019)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  Braid them armpits, sister.

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  (817): We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered. (1-817): Braid them armpits, sister. http://tfl.nu/o7hq
  Replies (1) Good night (1450) Bad night (792)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet

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  (208): Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet http://tfl.nu/73eb
  Replies (1) Good night (509) Bad night (895)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.

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  (312): Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'. http://tfl.nu/60ox
  Replies (10) Good night (1300) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.

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  (419): Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate. http://tfl.nu/uh2w
  Replies (3) Good night (561) Bad night (282)

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