seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
