its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.