Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
