Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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