she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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