so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he was CRYING into my vagina
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
