We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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