Apparently you make a good broom.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
