An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
