he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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