so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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