I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
