There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
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I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
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So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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