It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
