I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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