He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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