I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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