I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
someone owes me an orgasm
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
