OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
