did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
