I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
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