we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
