I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
