i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
did you just send me my own nude
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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