..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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