I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
