Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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