please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
