yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
