i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm always down for nudity.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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