Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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