Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
